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The Value of Attention

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The Value of Attention

If you are struggling to take back control of your most valuable resource and would like to explore how working with a neuroplasticity coach could help, schedule a free discovery session today.





Transcript:

Welcome everyone to another episode of the Esoteric Wellness blog. I'm your host, Coach Kyle.

So today I wanted to speak about attention. Attention is really the most valuable thing we have to give. We even talk about it as paying attention, like we're paying by giving our attention. And I always think of a quote, attention is the most important currency that anybody can give you. It's worth more than money, possession, or things. That quote's by Ben Parr.

And it's really true, when we think of attention, we have a finite amount of it, we can only give So many moments of attention. Our Our life only consists of so many moments in which we have to give attention. And really, we try not to do this, we try to work against this, but we can really only pay attention to one thing at a time. I know we try to spread that attention over several things, but it just doesn't work. We can only pay attention to one thing. one person, whatever it might be at a time. So it's finite, we only have so much of it, and we can only direct it at one thing at a time. So anytime I'm paying attention to this thing, that it excludes any other possibilities of what I could pay attention to.

So it's valuable, it's valuable in that way. So what we pay attention to, We're paying that attention because it is incredibly valuable. And thinking like, what other, what else do we have to give in life but our attention? And we can pay for things with other forms of currency like money and valuable objects, but we can always get more money, we can always get more objects of value, I can't ever get more attention to give. I have what I have and that's that's it. I'd never get any more. I won't ever get any more. I can't multiply it. I can't put it in a savings account and earn interest on it. You have a finite amount of attention. We all have the same. We all have the same amount.

On top of that, our attention is even more valuable. And I'll use a quote by Deepak Chopra here,what you pay attention to grows. If your attention is attracted to negative situations and emotions, then they will grow in your awareness. So this is highlighting the fact that where we place our attention, what we place our attention on, who we place our attention on, in a very big, powerful way, creates our internal experience.

So in that regard, Our attention is extremely valuable because it creates the thing we're ultimately always looking to create in our lives, which is our own experience. Any goal I strive for, anything of value that I purchase or obtain, anything I do in my life where I'm striving for something, what we're ultimately striving for is the experience that we expect that to provide for us. that internal experience, I wanna feel happy, I wanna feel fulfilled, whatever it might be. So we have this finite resource, we can only direct it one thing at a time, and is the primary creator of our internal experience. That's huge, that's huge. So by simply shifting where we're placing our attention, we can totally change our experience. Simple as that.

Now, this leads me to some challenges in our society today. I mean, there's always, always, always has been, always will be things and people striving to get our attention, because that's really the value we have. I want to talk specifically, and we talked about this a little bit in previous episodes, but I want to talk about media, social media, things like that, that what I really want people to understand is that when you get on a social media platform like TikTok, Facebook, whatever it might be, or other forms of media, if you're not paying to access it, If it's freely available, you are the product. You are what's being sold. Your attention is the currency being traded.

Let that sink in. You are the product.

So when you get on that social media platform and you spend time giving your attention to whatever you're looking at, That value of your attention is what's making somebody very rich, not you. But those advertisers are paying that social media platform to be able to flash that advertisement in your face and steal your attention. And what are you gaining from that transaction?

Well, that would highly depend on what it is you're looking at content wise. But now, I don't want to go down the road of just demonizing all of this and social media is evil, anything like that, because that's that's an oversimplification. It's a tool. And like any tool, it can be used for good, it can be used for bad. And understanding how it works and how to use it is very important in making sure we use it for good. There are great things about social media, don't get me wrong.

But I also just want people to understand, you are the product, it is designed and engineered to take your attention. And when you understand that your attention is so, so valuable, I don't know that most of us would be willing to give so much of it away to something where we often have very little to nothing to gain. I mean, if you're you're spending hours on social media and it's not creating an internal experience that you enjoy, why are you doing it?

I know, it's engineered to be addictive, and that's a big part of the problem. You know We talked about this with politics, how it's creating that internal experience, it's allowing us to be more easily manipulated. I mean, a lot of that content's fear-based. It's designed to scare us because that grabs our attention of our primitive brain.

But this also shows up in other ways in our lives. Like something I had a conversation around the other day is like the challenge many people are facing right now around dating. I mean, I wouldn't know. I've been married for 20 years, but a lot of people in their 20s, 30s, and even in their 40s are recognizing dating is really, really hard right now.

And I want to tie it back to our conversation about incentives. So we were talking about healthcare and the food supply, but again, the incentives of these social media platforms. I mean, if you're on a dating app like Tinder, what is its incentive? Their incentive is to take as much of your attention as possible. So that kind of is very counter to hooking you up, matching you up with your perfect match, and getting you into a romantic relationship as quickly as possible. Because most likely, if that happens, you're going to stop using the app. So their incentive is to keep you on the app as long and as much as possible. So right there, I should tell you, maybe they don't have your best interests at mind. Just the incentives don't line up. So many people have that experience of just endlessly looking through potential matches and and none of it ever leads anywhere. And perhaps much of that is by design.

But even beyond that too, like just the difficulty a lot of us are having in creating new relationships now because we're so conditioned to freely give away our attention to whatever's calling for it. And we find it very foreign and alien to give some person our full and undivided attention for any amount of time. But that's, when we look at creating like a new deep romantic relationship with someone, that's really what's required. I mean, Anyone that's been in love early in the relationship, that person's all you think about. That person's all what you wanna spend all of your time with and doing. They have your full and undivided attention.

And we're really training our brains not to do that, to resist that. And I mean, just Go to any restaurant today and you can usually spot a couple or two, you know, having dinner, probably on a date. And what do you see? You see the phones out on the table or in their hands. And they're just not able to give each other their full and undivided attention. And teachers are seeing the same issue in schools with children, just unable to give their full attention to something across the board. So this is affecting our lives in so many ways and creating internal experiences that we don't even want.

So what if we reframe this and we really saw our attention for the value that it truly holds, and we cherished that? We were put a lot more conscious thought into where we were placing that attention. We recognize that where we place our attention determines our experience. What would that change? What would you do differently? What would you stop doing that you're doing now, or do less of? What would you do more of that you're not doing enough of?

And that constant pulling of our attention, notification after notification, after e-mail, after text message, that constant demand of our attention, boy, that wears on you. That wears on you. So much so that we find it difficult to give anything our full and undivided attention for any length of time. Because we're so conditioned, we're trained to just give it to whatever calls for it in the moment, without even thinking about it.

So my challenge to you in the coming weeks, what are you giving your attention to? Really think about that. And if you really truly valued your attention, would you be placing it elsewhere? Is this placement of your attention creating the experience you want to have? Could you redirect that attention to something that is going to create the experience you want? Where we place our attention grows. What do you want growing in your life? What do you want more of? Place your attention there.

So that's where we'll end it today. I want to thank you all truly for your attention. If you sat here and listened to this episode or any episode, I thank you for that. Your attention is highly, highly valuable, and I appreciate you offering that to me.

So I hope you find this helpful. I hope you find it useful. And as always, you are beautiful, you are loved. Until next time.

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ADAPT Certified Funcional Health Coach (A-CFHC)

Disclaimer:

I am not a licensed medical physician. As a coach I am not providing health care, medical, or therapy services or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any physical, mental, or emotional issue. 

The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare provider before undertaking a new health regimen.

Do not disregard medical advice or delay seeking medical advice because of information you read on this website. Do not start or stop any medications without speaking to your medical or mental health provider.

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